Sitting With Uncertainty: Holding the Infinite

In the day and age where the reliance on evidence-based approaches in the therapeutic space are widely utilized to treat those suffering with an array of struggles, we need to keep in mind that the structure and the formulation of care is only part of the key to providing well-rounded and empathic treatment for those in need.

A phenomenon I have noticed while working in the field with a diverse population of individuals is the human drive to have certainty. Certainty has a differing meaning from individual to individual. In other words, one can argue that there is no one certainty. Some might say that death is as certain as it gets—but even then, there are those who believe in some type of existence after we draw our last breath. So, when it comes to the human experience, is there anything truly certain? The answer is dependent on you and how you make meaning of your experiences.

As an active, practicing counselor, I cannot help but notice a common thread amongst those that I have worked with and am continuing to work with. That common thread being some level of discomfort with uncertainty. The manifestation of pain that derives from this discomfort reveals itself uniquely from individual to individual. At times it shows itself as anxiousness about the past, present, or future. Other times it shows itself as obsessive thought patterns fueling compulsive actions to gain a fleeting sense of control. Then there are the times it shows itself by robbing one of hope, ultimately leading to a sense of despair and a melancholic outlook. It comes in an infinite number of disguises, some of which we have identified and categorized. We commonly refer to these as psychological diagnoses. We have Generalized Anxiety, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Major Depression… basically, from my point of view, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSM) is a guide to understanding the unique variations of the manifestation of uncertainty within the human presence.

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Uncertainty is fundamental. There is no escaping it. It is built into the fabric of our reality. It governs our Universe. What we commonly call uncertainty, scientists may call “disorder brought on by entropy.” The paradoxical beauty here is that even though the Universe is ruled by entropy, it does not have to be a chaotic realm. We as a human species have found some level of co-existence with disorder to a point where progress and advancements are bringing forth new wonders. Perhaps a reason for the human species’ ability to thrive can potentially be explained as some type of collective unconscious harmonization with uncertainty. A level of acceptance on a higher order—so to speak. However, when we zoom in and look at the individual level, we find that there are many who are suffering and struggling from this perspective of harmonization.

At the end of the day, I have found that those who are able to thrive and grow are those who accept the uncertainty of it all.

The systems that humans have created are far from perfect. There are many flaws and cruelties built into these structures. And in some ironic way, maybe this is also some type of manifestation of disorder and uncertainty through the medium of human creation? It’s hard to say.

At the end of the day, I have found that those who are able to thrive and grow are those who accept the uncertainty of it all. I believe that the majority of these individuals are unaware of their acceptance of the unknown. That in some unconscious dynamic process, they have been able to achieve an ability of “infinite holding.”

There was a wise sage approximately 2,500 years ago named Laozi who wrote a collection of 81 verses known commonly as the TAO te Ching. Within some of these verses, Laozi tells us to tap into the infinite “void” by accepting the TAO. The TAO, according to the former professor and writer Wayne Dyer, is an emulation of all things and all possibilities that resonate from this intangible but also real place, called the “void.” Working from this perspective, I believe that those who we observe as making strides forward are in some capacity attuned with the TAO and have metaphorically opened the door to the infinite “void”—and that by doing so, have tapped into a space where all can be “held” and “let go” with minimal attachment.

As a practicing counselor, I believe that part of the therapeutic process needs to focus in an indirect capacity on the struggles derived from uncertainty that many individuals seeking therapy suffer from. How does one focus indirectly? This question and concept encapsulate part of the therapeutic process that is taking place simultaneously while evidence-based techniques are being utilized. Underneath the conscious tedium of therapy, unconscious enactments manifest. It is here where the work needed reveals itself. With a keen eye, an attuned therapist cautiously and skillfully opens the door to the infinite “void” and passes the key onto the patient.

References

  1. American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.; DSM-5-TR). American Psychiatric Publishing.

  2. Dyer, W. W. (2008). Change your thoughts—Change your life: Living the wisdom of the Tao. Hay House.

  3. Lao Tzu. (2006). Tao Te Ching: A New English Version (S. Mitchell, Trans.). Harper Perennial Modern Classics.

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Authored By 

Nicholas Krysztopik, MA, LPC

Nicholas Krysztopik is a Licensed Professional Counselor, who has been practicing since 2018. He graduated from the Institute for Clinical Social Work with a Master’s degree in Clinical Counseling and Psychotherapy. Nick believes in a Psychodynamic approach to therapy where...